These words have been rolling around in my head for a while. Let’s be honest….there's been no escaping them. Yes, my current thoughts are heavily inspired by the football fever that has swept the nation but, when I reflect on them I feel something way deeper than that. I guess if you’re reading this because you thought you were going to get my insights on the match last night and our chances on Sunday you can stop now. Or not. I hope this blog will be relevant to anyone who stumbles across it and if not right now, I hope very soon.
There’s something very evocative about the word ‘home’; an environment offering security and happiness, a place of refuge. It seems ironic to me that we’re so keen for ‘it’ to come ‘home’ when for a large part of this last year(s) we’ve felt so constricted by our surroundings, like caged little birds doing our best to make do with the view from said cages. How throughout our journeys we’ve learnt to celebrate our homes as safe spaces, our new grateful lens amplifying our love for the unappreciated corners and once overlooked edges, all with heart emoji eyes.
It’s the powerful coupling of the ‘coming’ and ‘home’ that has really got me thinking. To me it suggests a return, a journey back to where ‘it’ once was. It really resonates with me because it’s how I’ve been feeling. I guess I’m coming home. Returning to the person I once was, waking up the bits that make me, well me. Like some parts of me have been in a sort of deep freeze and they are finally thawing out. I had a hard start to the year, I felt burnt out, I’d lost touch with myself and I had to work hard to rediscover me. Who was this person and what did they need? The TUNE INTO YOU coaching session I’ve been sharing was created because it’s what I used to work this out, I had to reconnect with who I was in that moment and that clarity enabled me to move forward (please reach out if you're reading this and recognise you could benefit from the same clarity).
Over the last few weeks I’ve been lucky to holiday in Scotland with amazing friends and see parts of the country so beautiful I almost couldn’t process them. I honestly felt like an alien visiting the planet for the first time, but in doing these things I recognise I was slowly remembering who I was and how to exist out in the world. Last week I went to Brighton with my oldest friends, we laughed our way around the city in the glorious sunshine (and rain) and I remembered how FUN life can be. Moreover, I was reminded how fun I could be! I think we lost those parts of ourselves in lockdown; the beauty in togetherness (and not the virtual kind), the sense of adventure and spontaneity. Our worlds were SO small, tiny almost micro lives. And us? On reflection I recognise how we became unfamiliar shadows of our former selves, perhaps if you're lucky some introspection and personal growth but certainly not the full us.
See, I told you this was deep. As I write I’m still piecing together how I feel. A football inspired lightbulb moment of supreme clarity. I guess I’m taking the lessons from last year, the new knowledge about myself and the world and I’m adding to this the parts of me I want to keep. I’m not the same and that’s ok!
I’m coming home to me, and it feels great.
Love + Gratitude
I'd love to hear how you're feeling and if these thoughts resonate with you? If you're not quite there yet, k e e p g o i n g.