Recently I decided to take a week out. To disconnect, refocus and refuel. I realised that because I could work across this last year I did – except there were no holidays or weekends away to unwind. Limited time away from TGHC meant that even when I did put it down, I didn’t really (a common theme I’m learning for anyone doing their own thing). I was always thinking about what to do next, how to grow things into a viable business that I’m proud of and has the kind of impact I want it to.
If you’ve ever started your own side hustle, love project or business you will know how all-consuming it is, how it’s the best thing in the world to create something of your own but how exhausting it can be to be the one to come up with the ideas and then have to implement them with the same enthusiasm in which you thought of them. Being both the architect and the builder (who also makes the tea, markets the business and does the accounts). Then a whole host of new treats to factor in…..imposter syndrome, perfectionism, procrastination, self-doubt, isolation and the world descending into chaos around you. It’s a heady mix!
I of course am not complaining. My choice entirely and I’m fortunate to have the resource and resilience to have made the leap into doing my own thing. I share a little slice of my reality in the hope it serves as a reminder that however you are living your life - how important it is to take some time out for you; to pause and listen to what your mind and body needs. I’ve been working with a coach this year (anyone lost in a soup please check out @w.h.o.i.a.m.u.k) because I recognised I needed the space to hear myself properly. I told her recently I felt like I was in a soup. In growing TGHC amidst a global pandemic I adapted in the best way I could by moving my workshops on line. I’m so glad I did because I have connected with so many people across this last year. Over 1,000 people actually, people who have taken the time to listen and learn about gratitude – all at a time they needed it. I am so proud of that.
But…this wasn’t my original plan and all the extra energy it takes to conduct your business virtually is tough! I’m sure there are so many people fatigued by this online world we find ourselves in. Something I also overlooked is that my journey with gratitude is at the centre of what I do, and I pride myself on being vulnerable enough to share my story, so people feel a little braver in sharing theirs. This means each workshop gets a little part of me. A lovely friend reminded me recently that TGHC is a heart centered business and it made me realise how everything I’m doing is created by and coming from me – my story, my sadness, my discoveries, my joys, my heart! Something I now know I need to focus on as this little business continues to grow.
(Next JOY BRINGERS is aired on Sunday 9th May 9-10AM on Unmade Radio)
Taking some time out has given me the space to reconnect with my values and really think about what it is that makes me happy. After so many years of sadness both Joe and I are committed to creating lives we love. We're taking control in new ways, being playful and curious with life (our JOY BRINGERS show on @unmade.radio is a prime example of this - see above) We are daring to try, it is as scary as it is exhilarating and a reminder that there is so much goodness waiting on the other side of fear.
Keen to avoid the soup again I've been really questioning why I’ve been feeling so off-kilter. I realise that to get through life I’ve focused only on what’s inside my bubble and, as result my world has felt so small for such a long time that I’ve lost perspective. I’ve invested so much love, time and effort into TGHC that I hadn’t left enough in the tank for myself. So consumed with getting through and moving forward I lost myself a little. I needed to zoom out, see the bigger picture again, reconnect with who I am and what is important to me. What brings me JOY! It was hard to see this when I was flailing around in the soup and all my hopes for TGHC seemed so far away. I see them way more clearly now and I’m building up the enthusiasm and belief that I can achieve them.
For example, I’d really like to do some IRL workshops when it’s possible and relish the thought of real-life conversations around gratitude. I want to continue build TGHC community and do so in an authentic way that includes all the things I love…. music, art, events, fashion, connection, community, collaboration and food! Just thinking about these things makes me smile. I started my own business because I want to help others and because I wanted to create something on my terms, full of the things I love. Good new is...I’m going to do exactly that! I have some really bold ideas and exciting plans which I can’t wait to share with you when the time is right.
I’m so grateful to anyone who has played a part in TGHC journey. It’s been quite a wild ride so far, I only hope to make it bigger and better and do more to help share not only gratitude but all I’m learning about life. If you’re reading this and recognise that you feel overwhelmed, please be so kind and gentle with yourself. I felt completely frozen and unsure what the next steps were but some time and space to think were so helpful. Today I feel like anything is possible and a savouring every second of it.
ALL the love and gratitude - whatever you're up to, however fast or slow you need to take it.
P.s I started writing this blog a week before I published it and was really feeling frightened that in getting through last year I had lost a part of myself. When I read it back I can hear it! This weekend after feeling like I wanted to stay in and hide from the world I went out with great friends and we had the best day...a day full of sunshine and laughter. I remembered who I was, that I’m still there even if I'm hiding under the debris of last year. It made me realise there are going to be both good and bad days as we navigate this re-entry phase. It's so important to remember that when you have a bad hour or or day it's ok! Go slow and be ultra kind to yourself. But... if you get a good hour or day then…embrace it wholeheartedly. It will provide you with some much needed fuel for the tougher ones.
P.p.s Is it really lazy of me to say TGHC instead of typing it out each time?
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